Intent is everything. Was it an accident or did you mean to do that?
The real motivation doesn’t really matter. It’s what I think that counts. If I think it was an accident, then that’s what I’ll believe.
The same goes with marketing. If the intent is to get something out of the interaction, it will be obvious to most. Like the lunch set up with the intent to talk about what the other party can provide. Oh sure, talk at the beginning is about all sorts of things. But as time goes on, and it gets closer to the end of lunch, things get a bit more tense. When do you ask about the other projects the person can direct you to? The more skilled the operator, the less awkward it will feel.
However, if the intent is to give something, the lunch will more enjoyable for all. Ideas are exchanged. A good discussion was had. Perhaps new thoughts were stimulated. You came expecting to give a gift, something that would be appreciated, and you end up receiving something more valuable.
What you received is attention. It’s what you choose to do with the attention that matters. The time spent will be more enjoyable if you spend it focusing on what you can provide for the other person.
Do that often enough, with sincere intentions to truly help the other person, you will build trust and a friendship that is based not on – What can you do for me?, but one of mutual respect.
It’s all about intent.
